got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
