Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I am mentally ready for anal.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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