just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
