you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
