would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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