If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.