About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
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Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
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Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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