I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.