I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
