That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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