My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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