didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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