I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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