look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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