Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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