I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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