i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize