you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
