Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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