Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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