Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
