dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
