Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
