you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
