U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
