She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
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