You're completely useless in the revolution.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
