don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
