This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
