Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
