I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
