I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
