Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I am spending my child support on dildos
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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