your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize