jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
