So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize