woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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