The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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