That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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