did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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