there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
