Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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