I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Apparently you make a good broom.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
