I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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