i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
