No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
