Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
