What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
