It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
