I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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