Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Someone came in the potted fern
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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