all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Too much gin, very little bucket
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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