Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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