I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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