so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
