I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
