i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
