i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
