Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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