I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
