i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
