dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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