Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
