I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
