He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
