i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
